I know that Shawna is no coward. She’s a decorated member of the finest police force this state has to offer. But I could never have fathomed how she could just walk out on me like that. Like a punk, like some lowlife perp, stealing my heart and crushing it in her hand as I watch. To my immense distaste, I feel almost as empty as I had this morning. I lay back onto the bed, covering my eyes with my forearm, as I cry. I must’ve fallen asleep, and I wake up to look for my phone. I need to know what time it is. I finally find the phone, and I am floored by what I see. It is four in the morning, and I don’t have any missed calls. Shawna really left. I dial her number, but quickly hang up before it even rings. I don’t know what her problem is, but I should let her work it out on her own. I wander around house straightening up and putting things where they belong, finally picking up my clothes from their place of rest on my living room floor. Though I’m walking around making more noise. ‘You better put that away before someone cuts it off.’ I realised I was still sticking my tongue out. Shit. ‘You OK babe, you look distracted, wanna watch a movie or something, try and take your mind off that bastard???’ ‘Sure’ I said, still embarrassed over the tongue thing, ‘why not’ She put a tape in a settled with me on the sofa. I wanted to talk to her about our almost-kiss, but couldn’t, didn’t know how to bring it up. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said out of the blue. ‘What about?’ ‘Earlier, before Carl showed up, about what I did, almost did, it was…. inappropriate and I’m sorry’ She looked at me for the first time since sitting down. I looked into her deep blue eyes, looked over her face, her soft pink lips, her pale skin, her cheeks, rosy as she blushed. I leaned over and pressed my lips against hers in a kiss that I’d wanted since our lips first met that evening, a kiss that, if I was totally honest with myself, I’d wanted forever. This wasn’t about gender, this wasn’t about straight.
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